I remember when I was “hopelessly in love,” except I wasn’t actually in love. Love is too strong of a word. Maybe it was admiration. Or because there was a limited number of choices and people to like. Who knows. But let’s just say the word love, since I don’t know another word to use. When I was in “love” with you, I used to always walk near you, look at you from afar, learn as much about you as I could by just watching. Sometimes I tried talking to you and impressing you. Never worked. I remember making these crazy plans just to get near you. I don’t think I actually did them though. Oh geez. It was humiliating. I remember. Do you? But I’ll never become that girl again. I won’t be the one “hopelessly in love.” I won’t get my choices swayed just because I like the person. Years have passed and I’ve become more confident in my opinions, choices, and decisions. I won’t ever become that person who follows someone out of simple admiration thinking I’m in love again.

Simple, childish, innocent feelings. Too bad I can’t return to those days when I was so innocent and naive. But I’m kind of glad. I don’t have to make a fool out of myself anymore.

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